


Survivalist

by KateWrites



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 11:41:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18387725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KateWrites/pseuds/KateWrites
Summary: Zelda comforts Lilith after the performance in episode 2 of part 2 really soft and angsty I'm not even sorry





	Survivalist

Zelda knew it was wrong what Faustus did. Watching her own niece as Lilith when she kneeled in front of Satan, left bitter taste in her mouth and her eyes moved to see Blackwood's reaction. He was is awe, proud with work he wrote. It disgusted her. She read too many books, especially Satanic Bible and knew better than to believe that a woman like Lilith would submit herself that easily and give her own freedom away, bending a knee without a question. 

 

As soon as she read the script, she was proud that Sabrina would play Lilith...after all that was an honor, who would refuse it? She just wanted some things to be more different. More truthful. She asked herself what would real Lilith think of it...Would she approve? Probably wouldn't. As far as Zelda knew Lilith was a force to be reconked with. First woman and witch. Left alone by False God and deprived of all beautiful things that Eden offered. Surviving and fighting...and this performance made her look weak and even though Zelda smiled and was proud of Sabrina, she knew deep inside that Faustus twisted Satanic texts and made his own little show with one intention only ; to humiliate a woman who was most possibly even more powerful than Satan himself, but couldn't show how stronger she was, since he made her submissive, belittled her and made her feel like she owns him her life. 

 

Throughout performance Zelda let few tears caress her cheeks, wishing she had power to prove people wrong and change their image about Lilith all together. Make them see Lilith as she truly was. A wonderful, powerful witch- demon, who doesn't need a man to bow to, since from the first days...thats all what False God and Adam wanted from her. Zelda bit her cheek for a moment when, question,gently like a breeze went through her mind...Did someone ever love Lilith? Or gave her the respect she deserved?Truly and fully? Maybe some day Zelda will make people do just that...Maybe when she becomes High Priestess. She brushed that thought fast...daydreaming wasn't really her thing.

___________

 

After performance Lilith went to bathroom to wash her red,puffy face. Blue eyes red as blood, completely deprived of life. She hated herself for coming and seeing the mockery of performance that was her life. Watching it made her feel sick,it had such strong grip on her, squeezing life our of her, that she couldn't help herself and break into million pieces. She was disgusted , looking at the mess in the mirror. All those years, centuries...False promises and she believed them all, thinking she had the power...but the power was never truly hers.

 

She didn't feel like a person anymore. Whoever saw her she was lonely, highschool teacher. Spinster schoolmarm. Even tight dresses, provocative red lipstick and high heels didn't make her feel nor beautiful nor powerful anymore. Everyone's lives were moving on, every day something new...all she did was following where half-breed was going, what she was doing and with whom. First woman ever created, filling her time with teenage drama, and now completely sure that Dark Lord doesn't want her. 

She sighed deeply and washed her face one more time when she heard bathroom doors opening and closing with loud thud, followed with surprised voice that could belong to only one person.

"Miss Wardwell! - Zelda said surprised to see other woman there, since excommunicated witches were rarely welcome in Church of Night - you here again?" 

Zelda walked towards sink to wash hands, slightly brushing her shoulder against Lilith's and eyed her through mirror. It was hard seeing woman's face when she was looking down, hair hiding her sharp, but beautiful features.

"Good evening Miss Spellman" 

She tried to keep her voice strong but she couldn't stand anyone seeing her having a mental breakdown. She was going through one of the worst times of her life and the last person she needed was all -knowing Zelda Spellman, who always had something negative to say to her and right now...Just one negative, sarcastic remark from Spellman matriarch would push Lilith even deeper into the abyss.

"Did you enjoy the performance?" 

Zelda asked as she started wiping her hands with a nearby towel, when she saw Lilith's sad eyes staring right at her she felt bad about even asking. 

"Did you?" Lilith turned the question and Zelda eyed her suspiciously, brows narrowing, already ready to say something smart but she brushed it off. She saw that woman wasn't feeling all right, and why make things worse so she chuckled and answered 

"I enjoyed how Sabrina performed...Not the story itself." 

With that Lilith widened her eyes and leaned with her left hip against sink, now not even a meter away from Zelda, two women looking at each other when Lilith said

"You did not enjoy the story? Why?" She was curious, first and foremost that she's even talking with Zelda...then very curious to hear what Zelda has to say. It intrigued her. 

"I tried - Zelda rolled her eyes,annoyed - to talk with Father Blackwood and convince him how Lilith's part of performance wasn't right...But he brushed me off."

 

Lilith tried to keep herself together, but tears started filling her eyes again and this time she didn't remove her eyes from Zelda, who's eyes were the most gentle she ever noticed and big, green pools of understanding. Lilith was, to say the least very curious to hear what more other woman has to say

"You told him that?" Lilith's voice was deep and husky, filled with pain and could feel herself start trembling with sadness and rage at the same time and Zelda moved a bit closer, worried about trembling woman in front of her

"Miss Wardwell, are you alright?" Zelda moved her eyes across Lilith's face and wasn't sure if she should posh other woman, she doesn't even know if Lilith would accept her help.

"How do you know what he wrote wasn't right?" Completely ignoring Zelda's question, she asked her own. She wanted to hear more. All fo the sudden it meant something to hear what Zelda Spellman thinks of her.

"I know Lilith was a survivalist - Zelda smiled at her, flashing most beautiful of smiles straight to her, for her and blue eyes lost themselves in it -I know it, Faustus twisted her story. She wouldn't bend the knee so easily..." 

At that Lilith removed her head quickly from Zelda, almost pushing her away, wanting to die from embarrassment, because that's exactly what she did. She gave herself too easily too fast. What a naive girl she was. After all these years she was too. 

"You should leave" Lilith told angrily, biting her cheeks and squeezing her knuckles far too hard, but she couldn't care less and Zelda beeing Zelda got offended, especially when she tried to help her. 

"Excuse me? -she said rising her voice in disbelief -You should leave, this Church isn't a charity and there's no place for likes like you"

"Likes like me,huh?" Lilith chuckled bitterly and glanced over Zeldas face. Her eyes holding something devious in them. Blue eyes red, angry...but also intrigued. Zelda Spellman was something.

"Excommunicated, yes."

"Go and tell on me, I'm sure Blackwood would be glad to hear it." 

"Stop it! I tried to help you. Don't act like a child! I was just answering your questions!" Zelda snapped and maybe she should've kept her mouth closed . If she thought about it, she didn't know why was she there wasting her time on Sabrina's teacher but her gut told her not to leave. She wasn't exactly known to have patience but for maybe just once, she will try and stay for ...excommunicated woman, who was in clear need of help.

"I want you to leave Zelda." Her voice was desperate, trembling from her body now in her voice. Zelda stepped behind Lilith, obviously sad for the woman, thinking if she should push Lilith or not...questioning if she should give up or not...in a second she put hand on Lilith's back and gently stroked it, hoping other woman won't brush her off. All she heard was sigh of relief and soft sobbing. Lilith back trembling under Zelda's hand. They just stood there for few seconds when Lilith said

"Forgive me - she coughed - I know you tried to help - she turned around to face Zelda - but no one can help me anymore." 

"What are you saying?" Lilith just noticed how beautiful Zelda was. All worried and thinking about how to solve this awful situation. Zelda cared for her. It took her mental breakdown to get noticed in good light by Spellman woman.

"Zelda, don't ever change your opinion on Lilith." She cupped Zelda's cheek and Zelda shuddered but relaxed and felt warm,soft hand caressing her cheek -it's too precious" she smiled to Zelda

"Why would I change it?" Zelda whispered 

"The performance showed her in different light" 

"I couldn't care less, Lilith was survivalist and a hero for every woman through centuries, including my own."

This warmed Lilith's heart. How did she miss this side of Zelda...Her smile only grew wider with the woman in front of her. She made Lilith forget bits and pieces...just for this moment, her mind and heart were at peace. Zelda calmed her and she wished she could have her every time she felt down. The gentleness other woman provided was spreading too fast and making her fee warm inside.

"How did you end up with man like Faustus?" Lilith asked still caressing Zelda's cheek, not knowing exactly if Zelda wanted it...so when she tried to move her hand, Zelda took Liliths hand into her own and squeezed it. Both of women looked at their intertwined hands when Zelda whispered 

"Don't tell anyone, or I will kill you - she laughed, Lilith followed, appreciating Zelda's twisted sense of humour - but I do not care for him. I don't love him and never was and never will. I am shooting for something more...Though it's just wishful thinking now." 

"What do you wish for?" Lilith smiled and Zelda answered proudly 

"Place of High Priestess,of course"

"Ambitious" 

"Wishful thinking. He would rather kill me than watch me become High Priestess - Zelda scoffed, voice filled with disgust - It is what it is." Lilith took Zeldas chin and lifted it up

"You would make miracles with Church of Night. I've never came across someone as devoted as you."

"If he could only asks for my hand in marriage...Things would move faster."

"Oh Zelda, you would be a lousy housewife" 

"I would never be a housewife, to start with" 

Both of them now laughing and feeling comfortable with each other, noticing their hands are still intertwined. Zelds was the first to pull away and got red in her face. Lilith missed the contact and shivered slightly, wanting to hold Zelda. What was happening...Calmness surrounded her when she was with Spellman woman.

"I should go now, my family is waiting" Zelda turned around to leave when Lilith asked,her eyes big and pleading, voice small. She needed her to stay...or every other negative, self depriving thought would come back and she would hate herself again.

"Could they wait a bit longer?" 

Zelda stopped in her tracks and turned around, beautiful red hair framing her face. Tender eyes and little smile now directed to Lilith.

"Would you like to go somewhere more comfortable?" 

"Why, Miss Spellman, lead the way."

___________

 

As they sat on couch in Academy's library everything felt easier. Warmth from fireplace setting a nice atmosphere and both women felt light as feathers.

"Could you tell me what made you so upset earlier?" Zelda asked softly

"If I told you, I would either have to kill you or erase your memories of this conversation all together" She traced her fingertip across Zelda's hand - and I don't want to do either " 

"Well, however you want Mary."

"Mary..." Lilith repeated her name, wishing she could hear her real one leaving Zelda's lips 

"I mean the performance made me cry also...but you..."

"Zelda don't. I know how I was." She cut her even before Zelda could say anything and then added more gently -I only have you to thank. It means a lot that you stayed." 

"I was having my doubts " she laughed and Lilith couldn't help herself and cupped both of Zelda's cheeks in her hands, trying to be as gentle as possible. Zelda was moving nervously on her side of couch eyes moving from deep blue pools to Lilith's lips...just wanting to taste them. Lilith wanted Zeldas approval first, so when she saw Zeldas eyes lingering far too long on her lips, she closed the distance between them...and it felt so sweet. Innocent and pure. 

Fire was awoke inside both of them. Only thing that Lilith had on mind were Zelda's lips and tounge doing magic to her, and hands caressing her face and neck making every hair on her body to rise...and of course...how Zelda worshipped the ground Lilith was walking on. Zelda's devotion made Lilith try to love herself, if Zelda loved her why couldn't she do the same for herself? Maybe Zelda's love for Lilith was enough for both of them. Maybe Zelda could love Lilith for both of them. Lilith doesn't even know to whom she should thank for giving her Zelda Spellman today, but whoever gave her this precious, not so cold and harsh anymore, woman, she was thankful. 

Zelda's opinion on Lilith made Lilith realize that one day she could maybe open up to Zelda. Tell her more about herself and have Zelda learn about her...even maybe love and worship and get closer to her a little bit more. That day wasn't today. But she will cherish it, because now, they're holding one another in each other's arms, forgetting about all the negatives and giving themselves into something new for both of them. Something far more real and raw and beautiful. Just none of them knows what that, feeling, truly is yet.

**Author's Note:**

> I am a mess so...those two belong with each other...let me.know what u think in comments and feel free to leave kudos
> 
>  
> 
> Sorry for any spelling mistake it's late haha


End file.
